So the Kids are all grown. Where does that leave you? Did you make the right decision? Would life be easier, your children happier or your partner less stressed if you stayed at home with them? That’s a decision we all grapple with: especially on those frantic days when the children are sick; you have a big presentation at work; your partner is out of town; and the nanny is laid up with the same bug as the kids. There is no right answer.
You weigh the pros and cons. You envision your dreams: your successful career, happy family life, loving relationship. You feel your feelings: the conflict and yearning, the fear and hope. You allow space to sense your internal reaction: the openness in your chest, the tension in your gut, the warmth and flow or the tight constriction in your head or neck. There is no right answer. Just the resolution of a decision making process. One that you can return to again and again. The decision does not have to be a forever.
After carefully weighing of: your inner responses and your partner’s responses; your vision for the future now and when your kids are older; decide what is important to you both? What do you value most? What kind of life will allow you to live you and your partner’s deepest values? Don’t leave a major life decision to luck. What would happen to a business if there was no business plan or a school if there was no strategic plan?
A long term vision and long range planning for your family is essential. Children grow very quickly. Don’t hang onto them because you lack a future life plan for yourself. Stuff happens in schools – we had a flood in the school on which I serve on the board. Businesses are thrown when the economy tanks. Those organizations that have a long range thinking can see the future and not get stuck in crisis management that distracts from long term plans. Deal with the immediate crisis but keep your eye on your ultimate goals.
After much soul searching, stay at home mom, Lisa shares her reactions twenty years after her original decision to leave a fulfilling but stressful job on a London Trading floor to be a full-time mom. Hindsight is easy. “I should have stayed at home.” Or “I should have continued my career.” Life intercedes, relationships falter, stuff happens. No one has a crystal ball on the future.
Learn what Lisa has to say after 20 years and the intrusion of a younger blond bombshell on her family and marriage. It could happen in a two career family as well. That’s why you need to get the 10 secrets of a Successful Relationship down pat (see below) and then learn from Lisa’s mistakes.
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Lisa has some good advice for stay at home parents as well as those from two career families. Don’t give up your dreams and focus totally on others. Put yourself in the equation. What will you do 20 years from now when the children are grown and you have a whole life ahead of you. Whether working at a career or at home, be a long range planner and develop skills, networks and opportunities you can tap into when your childrearing days are over. Here is the link for Lisa’s story:
http://grownandflown.com/regret-being-a-stay-at-home-mom/ Do share your comments below