Hitting a Home Run in a Two Career Family

Last Wednesday, I was a grandmother who hit a home run. My granddaughter, a senior on her way to Stanford and her classmate geared to Georgetown - valedictorian and salutatorian of their high school class - were honored by the Regional Superintendents group. That was definitely a double. It became a triple when I learned that both girls come from two career … [Read more...]

Big Problem: Majority of Our Kids are Bored, Tired and Stressed in School

Here you are working your butt off to give your kids the best of everything and research by top Yale professors confirms that your kids are down on school. Not happy in private, public, urban or suburban schools. Kids feel boredom, tiredness and stress from 9 to 3. Is deadness replacing life for the majority of our school aged children and adolescents? I didn’t love school … [Read more...]

What is the Hidden Gift of a Two Career Family?

     Dad’s Involvement in kids’ lives is an important part of school success and even college graduation. Research from the American Enterprise institute found that children of highly involved fathers had a 105% chance of graduating from college. They were 98% more likely to attain a college degree than students with uninvolved fathers.   My mom was a nurse who … [Read more...]

The Hidden Secret to Success in a Two Career Family

Photography courtesy of Maria Bowling , “who inspired this blog.” Keep these photos in your wallet. Every time you feel yourself seizing up in frustration, anger or overwhelm; crumbling in hurt, disappointment or rejection, pause. Allow your eyes to scan and rest on the photos. Notice your breath deepening and your heart slowing down. Feel your butt on the seat under … [Read more...]

Confusion and the Two Career Family

Power shift and role change confuse couples “So, Father,” Pope Francis’ Argentine press aide, asked the priest who is Pope Benedict’s spokesman, “how do you feel about my former boss?” Managing a smile, Father Lombardi, Director of Communications for the former Pope, replied, “Confused.” A recent National Geographic cover story on Pope Francis describes a confusion around … [Read more...]

Supportive Spouses Signal Career Success

One way to insure career success is to marry well. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis spent five years studying thousands of married two career couples. The verdict: your partner is key to your job success. If he or she is hardworking and dependable, it is like an insurance policy for you to make more money, get more promotions and enjoy greater job … [Read more...]

Long Range Planning for You when the Kids are Grown

So the Kids are all grown. Where does that leave you? Did you make the right decision? Would life be easier, your children happier or your partner less stressed if you stayed at home with them? That’s a decision we all grapple with: especially on those frantic days when the children are sick; you have a big presentation at work; your partner is out of town; and the nanny is … [Read more...]

Avoid Heartbreak: Respond to Conflict. Don’t react to it!

Dr. Viktor Frankel was a prisoner in a concentration camp yet never reacted to his jailers. He believed that: “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” Rather than obsess about the dangers surrounding him, Frankel created an internal space in which he thought positively about each member … [Read more...]

Top Secret to Raising Children

As I watched Craig look into his daughter’s eyes yesterday, the intense focus of her gaze and the love that passed between them was palpable. She’s only four months old, but little Ally is truly bonded with her Dad. Dan Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence considers focus the “Hidden Driver of Excellence.” At four months Ellie is learning to focus. In spite of all the … [Read more...]

Two Careers, Two Children and Trouble Saying No: The Downfall of Women Entrepreneurs

Warren Buffett confided that the secret to creating his fortune lay in his ability to say No. “My work centers on saying, No. I sit there all day and look at investment proposals. I say No, No, No, No until I see exactly the one I am looking for. I say yes a few times in my life and I’ve made my fortune” 40 years of working as a couples’ therapist taught me that Warren … [Read more...]

How to Raise Your Parenting EQ

Emotional intelligence is critical for raising happy and successful children. If you were raised in a family where the EQ was poor to fair: people were very rational and avoided emotion; they dumped emotions all over other people; used substances to deaden them or it was hit or miss; we’ll show you how to get your EQ or your spouse’s EQ way up. Your children will notice the … [Read more...]

Work Stress can affect your health

Ron blurted out before I could respond, “I had a hard day at work yesterday, clients were all over me and I felt squeezed, trying, trying but just hitting brick walls. Timmy had been up all night with a tummy ache so Ellie and I didn’t get much sleep last night. Ellie’s not getting any sleep either. She has been tossing and turning at night since Ed left. And she recently broke … [Read more...]

Feeling Overwhelmed?

You think everything is in place: kids are getting dressed, lunches are packed, the baby sitter has arranged to meet the kids after school and take them to the library to prepare for a project and the phone rings. You hear the superintendent’s booming voice announcing that school will not open until 11:00 AM because of the recent snow fall. Now what? Your wife left earlier for … [Read more...]

Technology and Girls Code through the Glass Ceiling

I had two older brothers who were math stars.  As the youngest and the only girl, I assumed math and technology were boy interests. They were into model planes and trains which didn’t do it for me.  Truth be told, I was fascinated with my older brother’s chemistry set but couldn’t play with it, unless Jim was there, as I might cause an explosion. I come from generations of two … [Read more...]

Warning: Are You a Two-Dimensional Parent?

1. Do you find yourself thinking about problems at work when Johnnie is complaining about his math teacher? 2. Are you worried about missing the train while Liz is dabbling at her food? 3. Are you checking your phone to see if the client got your message while playing monopoly with Tim and Jen? 4. Do you take the kids to McDonalds for supper and spend your time there … [Read more...]

Supermen and Wonder Women Come in for a Landing

“No more peanut butter and I have to catch the 6:28 train to Grand Central. Oh no, he forgot to put it on the shopping list again, I can’t do everything. Kids, how about a cheese sandwich for lunch today.” Juli, I’m sorry, I know you love peanut butter. Try the cheese on rye bread. You’ll enjoy it.” Under her breath, “I wish he cared as much about what the kids eat as he … [Read more...]

7 Ways to Enjoy Your Two Career Family

Lesson #1. Just do it! Try to do it perfectly and your family stress index soars.   Lesson #2. Be yourself, flaws and all! Martha Stewart is the fly in two career family balm.   Lesson #3. Take time for yourself! Allow one another alone time – amount is negotiable but equitable.   Lesson #4. Focus! Drop the iPhone. Attend to what you sense and feel … [Read more...]